Havaianas VS. Spartan

Pangalan: Havaianas

Lugar na pinanggalingan: São Paulo, Brazil

Pagbigkas:
ah-vai-YAH-nas (Brazilian Portuguese)
hah-vee-ah-naz (American English)
OMG!-hAH- va- yaH-naZz!! (Filipino)

Materyal na ginamit: Malupit na goma (High-quality rubber).

Presyo: Hindi ko alam. Ganito na lang,
1 pares ng Havaianas = 100 pares ng Spartan

Mga nagsusuot: Mga konyotik at mga mayaman..

Malulupit na katangian at kakayahan:
- Masarap isuot.
- ‘Shock-absorbent ‘
- Malambot ngunit matibay.
- Makukuha sa sandamakmak na kulay, disenyo at burloloy.
- Maaaring isuot sa loob ng Starbucks.
- Mainam na pang-japorms.
- Mainam i-terno sa I-Pod at Caramel Macchiato.
- Mapipilitan kang maglinis ng mga kuko mo sa paa.
- Maaari ka nang mag-dikwatro sa loob ng mga pampublikong lugar at sasakyan.
- Magiging ‘fashionable’ ka kapag ikaw ay nagkukuyakoy.

Olats na mga katangian:
Mahal!
Mahal!
Mahal!

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ __

Pangalan: Spartan

Lugar na Pinanggalingan: Metro Manila , Philippines

Pagbigkas:
spar-tan (American English)
is-par-tan (Filipino)

Materyal na ginamit: Pipitsuging goma (Low-quality rubber).
Presyo: Wala pang 50 pesos.
Isang pares ng Spartan = 20 piraso ng pan de coco.

Mga nagsusuot: Ako at ang masa! Nyahaha!

Malulupit na katangian at kakayahan:
- Maaring ipampatay sa ipis.
- Maaring ipampalo sa mga batang suwail at damuho..
- Pwedeng ipanglusong sa baha at putikan.
- Pwedeng ipamalengke.
- Mainam gamitin sa tumbang-preso.
- Mainam gawing ’shield’ kapag naglalaro ng espa-espadahan.
- Mainam isuot sa siko bilang proteksyon habang naglalaro ng piko.
- Mainam na pambato sa picha o shuttlecock na sumabit sa puno.
- Mainam na pangkulob sa pumuputok na watusi.
- Kapag ginupit-gupit nang pahugis ‘cube,’ e maaari mo nang
gawing pamato sa larong Bingo na kadalasang makikita sa mga lamay ng patay).

Olats na mga katangian:
* Madaling magkawalaan kapag hinubad dahil halos pare-pareho lang ang hisura.
* Masakit isuot kapag may mga balahibo ang mga daliri mo sa paa.
* Minsan kapag ipinambato mo ito sa picha o shuttlecock na nakasabit sa puno, e nadadamay pati yung tsinelas .

ANO ANG DAPAT GAWIN KUNG TINATAMAD KANG MAGTRABAHO ?

Sa buhay empleyado merong dalawang pagpipilian kung tinatamad kang magtrabaho.

A. Una ay umabsent.

1. Kapag umiikot na kaagad sa katawan mo ang katamaran pagkagising pa lang sa umaga ay mag-isip ka na kaagad ng palusot kung bakit ka aabsent. Paalala: dapat ay memoryado mo ang mga dahilang nagamit mo na dati (tip: gumawa ng isang logbook) ng sa gayon ay hindi ka parang sirang plakang nag-uulit lang lagi ng rason ng di pagpasok. Alalahanin na tuso din ang mga bossing.

2. Kapag nakaisip ka na ng magandang dahilan ay agad mag-text o tumawag sa bossing mo, the earlier the better. Kung ayaw mo ng madaming tanong e mag-text ka at kung nais mo namang tumawag ay siguraduhin mong magaling kang umarte kagaya ng kung ikaw ay kunwaring me sakit ay umubo ka ng paunti-unti habang kinakausap ang bossing mo.

3. Matapos mag-text/tumawag ay bumalik sa higaan at magplano ka na ng gusto mong gawin sa buong araw. Malaking posibilidad na magtutulog ka lang buong araw. Sya nga pala, kapag tumawag ang opisina sa kalagitnaan ng araw, laging tandaan ang rasong ginamit (consistent ka dapat), maaari namang i-off mo na lang ang phone mo para hindi ka maistorbo buong araw.

BABALA: Siguraduhing regular ka na sa kumpanyang pinagtratrabahuhan kung ikaw ay mag-aabsent.

B. Pangalawa ay pumasok

Eto ang dapat gawin ng mga empleyado kapag tinatamad magtrabaho pero ayaw umabsent. Ang mga taong ito ay nuknukan ng kapal ng mukha. Ang mga sumusunod na instructions ay napakasimple pero effective. Meron ding oras na nakatakda, magsisismula ng alas ocho ng umaga at magtatapos ng alas singko ng hapon.

1. Pumasok ng sakto sa oras. Huwag kang male-late at huwag ka din namang excited masyado. 8:00

2. Pagdating mo sa opisina ay ilapag mo lang kaagad ang gamit mo sa lamesa at magtungo kaagad sa pantry. Magtimpla ng kape o kung anuman ang iniinom mo pag umaga. Habang nasaloob ay makipag-usap sa mga tao doon, patagalin mo ang usapan (tip: pag-usapan ang mga headline ngayong araw o mga nangyari kahapon sa loob ng opisina). Kung walang tao sa pantry ay mag-yaya ka ng kasama bago pa man pumasok doon. 8:00-8:30

3. Matapos sa pantry ay magtungo na sa lamesa mo dala-dala pa din ang kape, ito ay para hindi ka antukin buong araw. Buksan ang computer… continued at rcbgallery

1) NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you’re paying by the hour and trying to get your money’s worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there’s a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you’re trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which your rake repeatedly across your partner’s face and thighs.When she turns her head from side to side, it’s not passion, it’s avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto a woman’s nipples, then clamp down like they’re trying to deflate her body via her breasts?
Nipples are highly sensitive. They can’t stand up to chewing. Lick and higop them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good.Pretending they’re a dogie toy, isn’t.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES. Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you’re trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY. A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel.There are vast areas of her body which you’ve ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them someattention.

GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED. Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you’re going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT. Condom disposal is the man’s responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK. Women, unlike men, don’t pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she’s not there,keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY. Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid’s toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY. Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it’s all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you’re trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you’re not careful, it can hurt so don’t get carried away. It’s best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY. You’re attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY. Don’t force the issue by stripping before she’s at least made some move getting your stuff off, even if it’s just undoing a couple of buttons.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST. A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks first.

1 GOING TOO FAST. When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool -she’ll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly,with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19) GOING TOO HARD. you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

20) COMING TOO SOON. Every man’s fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH. It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it’s more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has somethi ng to hold her interest while you’re playing Marathon Man.

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME. You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don’t know, don’t ask

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY. Don’t act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN. Men persist in doing this until she’s eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this.It’s about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX. Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she’s performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what’s necessary.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO. Don’t thrust. She’ll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don’t grab her head.

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES. In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

2 MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES. Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not.
Caress her gently, so that she doesn’t feel quite so like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. This is how men earn a reputatio n for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don’t think that being drunk is an excuse.

30) TAKING PICTURES. When a man says, “Can I take a photo of you?” she’ll hear the words “__to show my buddies.” At least let her have custody of them.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH. Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off.

Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS. There is no less erotic noise. It’s as sexy as a belching contest.

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES. If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she’s a Romanian gymnast, don’t get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don’t.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES. is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS. Don’t shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It’s not a big turn-on.

37) TALKING DIRTY. makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she’ll let you know

3 NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

39) SQUASHING HER. Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER. Never thank a woman for having sex with you.Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.Women, You should forward this to all your boyfriends/husbands foruninterrupted PLEASURE !!!

Iputok mo sa Labas

Featuring:
Ramon Bautista as Carding
Tado Jimenez as Efren Reynes III
Angel Rivero as Neknek (ang babaeng patapon)
Boy Badtrip as Voice Over

Pakinggan ang buong istorya dito.

Iputok mo sa Labas

—

Nakakatawa siya dahil sa script at gamit na mga salita. Maganda ang kwento niya na sumasalamin sa realidad. Isang probinsyanong nangarap na tumira sa maynila upang maging skwater. Pinakita rin dito ang pag kontrol at pagkasakim ng mga naghaharing uri. Isang realidad na nangyayari sa ating bansa. May mga kulturang pinoy din na pinakita dito tulad na lamang ng pagiging konserbatibo ng isang Pilipina.

Magandang kwento at script. Isa siyang maganda at epektibong paraan ng pagpapakita ng tunay na nangyayari sa kasalukuyan sa pamamaraang hindi nakakainip. Komedyang may sipa sa bawat Pilipino.
salamat kay renwick sa pagbahagi ng kwentong ito.

Pinoys Favorite Food:
THIS WAS POSTED IN ONE RESTAURANT NEAR NAIA AIRPORT,
so, maybe next time you are around the area, you may
as well dine-in there, and check out their menu; AS
YOU GO ON, IT’S BECOMING INTERESTING AND MORE
FLAVORFUL!!! (this is based on true facts…)

1. TAPSILOG – Tapa, Sinangag, Itlog

2. LONGSILOG – Longganisa, Sinangag, Itlog

3. HOTSILOG – Hotdog, Sinangag, Itlog

4. PORKSILOG – Pork, Sinangag, Itlog

5. CHICKSILOG – Chicken, Sinangag Itlog

6. AZUCARERA – Adobong Aso

7. LUGLOG – Lugaw, Itlog

8. PAKAPLOG – Pandesal, Kape, Itlog

9. KALOG – Kanin, Itlog

10. PAKALOG – Pandesal, Kanin, Itlog

11. MAALOG NA BETLOG – Maalat na Itlog, Pakbet, Itlog

12. BAHAW – Bakang Inihaw (akala ninyo kaning lamig
ano)

13. KALKAL – Kalderetang Kalabaw

14. HIMAS – Hipon Malasado

15. HIMAS SUSO – Hipon Malasado, Sugpo, Keso

16. HIMAS PEKPEK – Hipon Malasado, Kropek, Pinekpekan

17. PEKPEK MONG MALAKI – Kropek, Pinekpekan, Monggo,
Malasado, Laing, Kilawin

18. DILA – Dinuguan, Laing

19. DILAAN MO – Dinuguan, Laing, Dalandan, Molo

20. BOKA BOKA – Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape

21. BOKA BOKA MO PA – Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape,
Molong Pancit

22. KANTOT – Kanin, Tortang Talong

23. KANTOT PA – Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit

24. SIGE KANTOT PA – Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang
Talong, Pancit
25. SIGE KANTOT PA IBAON MO – Sinigang na Pige, Kanin,
Tortang Talong, Pancit – Take out

26. SIGE KANTOT PA HA – Sinigang na Pige, Kanin,
Tortang Talong, Pancit, Halo-halo

27. SIGE KANTOT PAIBAON MO PAPA – Sinigang na Pige,
Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit… Take out with Ketchup

28. PAKANTOT – Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong

29. PAPAKANTOT – Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong

30. PAPAKANTOT KA BA – Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang
Talong, Kapeng Barako

31. PAKANTOT SA YO – Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong,
Saging + Yosi

32. PAKANTOT KA – Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong,
Kape

33. PAKANTOT KA HABANG MATIGAS PA – Pandesal, Kanin,
Tortang Talong, Kape, Inihaw na Bangus, Maruya,
Tinola, Ginisang Aso, Pancit

34. SUBO – Sugpo, Bopis

35. SUBO MO – Sugpo, Bopis, Molo

36. SUBO MO PA – Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Pancit

37. SUB O MO PA MAIGE – Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Mais, Pige

38. SUBO MO TITE KO – Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola, Teryaki,
Kochinta

39. SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS – Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola
Teryaki, Kochinta, Bihon, Tawilis

40. SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS, HAYOP! – …same as #39,
minura mo lang yung waiter kasi ang tagal ng order.

Kainan na!!!

Karaniwang maririnig kapag nagsamasama ang mga bading sa tapsilugan para maglandian at magkwnetuhan. hahaha….

eto na. Alamin mo ng maige at baka ikaw na ang tinutukoy ng katabi mong bading sa usapan nila.

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT

“Girl!”, “Lolah!”, “Ateh!”, “Mamah!”, “Titah!”, “Sister!”, “Mother!”, “Bakla!”

PROPER NOUNS

Ace Sanchez – a top

Aglipay – ugly Pinay ( jowang pokpok na chaka ng mayaman na foreigner )

Ana, Anaconda – ahas, traidor

Anita Linda, Aida – A.I.D.S.

Ate Vangie – gamot pampatulog (Ativan Gang)

Ate Vi – atrebida

Backstreet Boys – cute guys sa likuran mo

Bayombong, Nueva Viscaya – masturbate

Bebang, Mayta – maid

Blusang Itim – mga bakla na gumanda nang maayusan sa parlor

Cathy Santillan, Kate Gomez, Cathy Mora, Cathy Dennis – makati, malibog

Chabelita – chubby

Chanda Romero – tummy (ang laki ng Chanda Romero nung pulis) / an old woman

Chiquito – maliit

Churchill – sosyal

Crayola Khomeni – iyak

Dakota Harrison P! laza – malaki tite

Debbie Gibson – give

Duty Free – maliit ang nota

Ella Mae (Saeson), Ella Fitzgerald, Ella Luansing – state of feeling horny

Eva Kalaw – evak

Felix Bakat – bakat ang tite (sa brief or pants)

Girlie Rodis – babae

Givenchy – give, pahingi

Halls – tsupa

Indiana Jones – hindi sumipot

Janjalani, Pocahontas – bakla na palaging late o indyanera

Jennilyn (Mercado) – cheap, chaka

Joana Paras – asawa

Julanis Morisette, Reyna Elena – umuulan

Julie Andrews – mahuli

Kelvinator, Kelvina – babaeng mataba, sinlaki ng refrigirator

Leticia Ramos Shahani – shabu

Lilet – bading na bagets

Lucita Soriano – loss na, sorry pa

Lucrecia Kasilag – baliw

Luz Clarita, Luz Clarita, Luz Valdez – talo, loss ang beauty

Maharlika, Mahalia Jackson – mahal

Manilyn Reynes – malibog

Miss Nigeria – negra

Murriah Carey, Morayta – mura

Nora Daza – magluto

Oprah Winfrey, O.P.M. – oh, promise me, pangako, utang

Phil Collins – Philcoa

Purita Kalaw Ledesma, Purita Kashiwara, Pureta Malaviga – poor, dukha

Rica Paralejo, Nina Ricci – mayaman

Rita Gomez – naiirita

Ruffa – laklak

Siete Pecados – tsismosa

Thunder Cats – gurang

Tom Jones, Tommy Lee Jones – gutom

Uranus – puwet

Washington D.C. – wala

X-Men – mga dating lalaki

Yayo Aguila – dyahe

Zsa Zsa Padilla – o siya, sige!

ADJECTIVES & ADVERBS

48 years – sobrang tagal

antibiotic – antipatika

balaj, valaj – balahura

bella – boba

bigalou – big

biway, chopopo, guash – gwapo

bongga, bonggakea – super to the max

borta – malaki katawan

boyband – lalaking sintaba ng baboy

buya – nakakahiya

chaka, chuckie, shonget, ma-kyonget, chapter, jupang-pang – ugly

cheapangga, chipipay – cheap, ka-cheapan

chipipay – cheap

chopopo – gwapo

conalei – baklush

daki – dako

dites – dito

doonek – doon

effem – halatang bakla

emena gushung – malanding semenarista

fayatollah kumenis – payat

ganda lang – for free

ganders – maganda

intonses – sira, wasak

jongoloids – bobo

jowa, jowabelles, jowabella – karelasyon, boyfriend o girlfriend

jutay, juts – maliit

kabog, loss – talo!

katagalugan – matagal

katol – mukhang katulong

kirara – pangit / maitim

klapeypey-klapeypey – pumalakpak

krang-krang – hungry (same as Tom Jones)

krung-krung – sira ulo, baliw

lulu, tungril, tetetet – lesbian

mahogany, mashumers, ugmas – mabaho

majubis – mataba / gusgusin

matod – magnanakaw

nakakalurky – nakaka-shock, nakaka-takot

neuro – napaisip bigla, mind-boggler

oblation – walang saplot

otoko – lalakeng lalaki

pamin, paminta, pamentos, pamenthol – discreet gay guy

pinkalou – pink

pranella – praning

quality control – maganda ang quality

sangkatuts – marami, isang katutak

shala – sosyal

shogal – matagal

shokot, bokot – takot

shonga, shongaers, planggana – tanga

shonga-shonga – tanga-tanga

shonget, makyonget – ugly

shontis – buntis

sudems – never

tamalis – tamad

urky – nakakaloka

warla – loka-loka, nawawala sa sarili, nababaliw

wasok – contraction ng “wasak pag pasok”

wiz, waz – wala!

wrangler, thunder(s), tanders, majonders – matanda

NOUNS, PRONOUNS AND PREPOSITIONS

adez, andabelz, adesa, anda, ka-andahan, andalucia – pera

akesh, akembang – ako

badet, dinga, dingalou – bading

berru – beer

borlog – tulog, power nap

bottomesa, bottones – a bottom

bufra – boyfriend

carrou, carosa – car

cheese – chismis

chimi, chimini, chimi-aa, chimini-aa – maid

constru – construction worker
daot – ahas, traitor

ditey, ditich, ditraks – dito

feelanga – crush

fiampey – singit, etits, flower

garapata – vaklush na punggok na majubis

gardini – security guard
oishi – shabu

gulay, pechay, bilatch, tahong – babae

hada – oral gay sex

hammer – pakonyo effect sa mga prosti or callboy, “pokpok”

havana – mahabang mukha

hipon – maganda ang katawan pero panget

itich, itechlavu – ito

itich-me-how – etits, penis

jipamy – jeep

jowa, jowawis – lover, boy/girlfriend

jubelita – vaklita, batang bading

kat-kat – sosyal na tawag sa katulong

katol, chimay – katulong

kyota – bata

kyotatalet – sanggol

likil, mentos, future – lalaki

merlat, melat, bilat, mujer – babae

nota, notes – penis

pa-uring – a bottom

performance artist – mahilig mag-inarte

potato queen – chink for chinks

red alert – menstruation

rice queen – chink folks who go for white guys (?)

colbam, sholbam – callboy

shulupi – pulubi

shumod, shumodity – tamod

suba, bugarou – cigarette

success story – babae/lalaki na mukhang katulong na may lover na foreigner na masalapi
katuray – baklang mukhang katulong na mataray

tayelz – tayo

variables – barya, coins

wigwam – wig

VERBS

bacstroke – bugbugin

bet, fillet – gusto

bionic, bayas, bayis – magjakol

bona, kimbash, uring – tirahin sa pwet

bongkang, shongkang, tsuplukan – kumantot

booking – to hook up with someone

borlog, tulogsi – matulog

dramamin – umaastang lalaki

entourage, enter the dragon – pumasok

getluck – kuhanin

gora, godelya – go

hada, koflang, kops – suck

jeverly, kalaw, erna – dudumi

krompal – sampal, but with an attitude (kasi may kasamang kuko)

lafez, lafang, lafour – kain

nomo-nomo, normok – inom

payola – pay

rampage – rampa

rendez-vous – takbo

shonggal – tanggal

sight – look

strungga – nenok, nakaw

*************************************************

lou

pinkalou – pink
carou – car
chuvalou – common __expression
chiva-lou – hada or bj
orangalou – anal sex from the rootword oranga
pagurlalou – pa-girl
chufalou – hada

china

payolachina – pay
pangitchina – pangit
chupachina – blow job
mukachina – face

ra/delya

pagodora, pagodelya – tired
bongadera, bongadelya – ang ganda mo day

grabedora, grabedelya – grabe

*************************************************

one pokels – piso
one hammer – P 100
one kiaw – P 1,000

P 1,553 – one kiaw, five hammer, at nyifti three pokels

*************************************************

Spanish – Filipino Gaylingo
Chorizo de Bilbao – penis
Grande – malaki

Granada de Espa�a – grabe

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ANO ANG BAGONG TAW! AG SA JOWA IN THE NEW MILLENIUM?

It depends.

Pag one-time hada lang: STUDIO CONTESTANT.
Pag more than once at frequent ang encounter: MONTHLY FINALIST.
Pag nagkaka-develop-an na: GRAND FINALIST.
Pag nagsasama na at ibina-bahay: LUCKY HOME PARTNER.
Pag call-in callboy: LUCKY TEXT PARTNER lang.

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Chorvah has its etymology from the Greek word cheorvamus meaning “for lack of the right word to say”, or “in place of anything you want to express but cannot verbalize”. Ibig sabihin pala, siya ay parang “aloha” sa wikang Hawaiiano, which can mean many, many things. “Chorvah” can be used as:

1. Noun: “ano” / “kwan” / “or something”

- “Ate Glow, kelan yung birthday chorvah ni Big Mike?”

- “Hoy, Vicky ‘to, whatcha gonna wear ba? The sporty or the chinese chorvah mo?

2. Adjective: used if you want to be polite.

- “Ang chorvah naman niyan!”

( So, ano ba? Pangit ba o maganda? Baduy ba or ang arte?)

They will never know what you really mean. How polite!

3. Verb: can replace any verb

- “Chorvah lang ng chorvah!”

Chorvah is such an amazing word, it lets you choose your own adventure. At least you will never be accused of putting words in somebody else’s mouth. If you don’t have anything to say, or you can’t find the right word to say, or you want to say something but you don’t know how to say it, just say CHORVAH!

Variations: Chuvah, Chenes, Chenelyn

Ang pinaka sikat na pelikula sa ngayon. Mag iisang buwan na mula nung pumutok ang pelikulang ito. Usapan na sa kung saan saang lugar sa jeepney, sa taxi, sa tricycle, sa barberya, sa karinderya, sa tapsilugan at iba pa. Naalala ko nung unang araw na nagsimula ito at nasa La Salle Greenhills pa si Lozada napanood ko ang unang prescon niya, mga alas 3 ng umaga ata yon. Tapos sunod kong nasaksihan ang buong araw ang unang senate hearing niya na pinanood ko mula 10am hanggang 10pm ata. Mukha pa siyang takot na takot noon dahil parang wala siyang kakampi at hindi siya makapangyarihan.

Matapos ang ilang linggo, ngayon ay nababalitaan ko na palibot libot na sa iba’t ibang skwelahan si Lozada at laging present sa iba’t ibang rally. Ngayon ay mukha na siyang walang takot dahil nakuha niya agad ang tiwala ng mga Pilipinong manonood. At isa ko sa mga naniniwala kanya noon. Pero sa ngayon ay medyo nagiiba na ang ihip ng hangin, dahil mukhang nababahiran na siya ng mga trapo na nakapaligid sa kanya. Sana mali ang iniisip ko pero eto ang aking opinyon sa aking na obserbahang takbo ng mga pangyayari.

Saan kaya ito patungo? Saan kaya papunta ang krisis na ito? Ano kaya ang magiging ending ng pelikulang ito? Bigla nalang kaya ito matatapos ng walang nananagot? Napakaraming tanong sa aking isipan at sa isip ng karamihan.

Mabuhay ang mga tambay na may pakialam sa mga nangyayare sa bansa naten.

Natikman niyo na toh?

kung hindi pa, hindi ka tunay na Pinoy! wahaha… Ito ang ang araw araw na kinakain ng masa pag papasok at pag uuwe. Ang masikip at mabahong mrt sardines. Pag umaga ayos ayos pa dahil bagong ligo pa ang karamihan, pero pag hapon. naku po parusa na. Isa magic sa tren na ito ay Meron itong hightech na auto-pasok, subukan mo tumayo sa pinto pag maraming tao lalo na sa q.ave, cubao, shaw at makati station, magugulat ka nalang kung papano ka nakapasok sa loob ng tren. wahaha.

Tara subukan niyo na ang patok na patok na MRT sardines. Tinatnagkilik kahit anong sikip. Anong ginagawa ni Bripman sa MRT? di ba siya nakakalipad?